The struggle of being a young weird woman with a nose ring in a society full of close minded idiots, and sexist.
It is difficult enough to be a teenager and accept yourself, but it is even more difficult to be a young woman living in such a conservative society. The hardship I have had to overcome is one every young woman has to overcome. Some women are more ‘normal’ than I am, so it may be easier for some, but for girls like myself, coming to terms with who you are and knowing its okay to be different is slightly more difficult. From the time we are little girls we are told how we are supposed to look, act, and think. Our parents tell us to be saints,the media tells us to be creatures of a sensual nature, but you can’t win. If you’re a good conservative girl, you’re a prude, and if you embrace your sexuality you are a slut.
From the time I was very young I was told no one will want a girl who isn’t a virgin, but I always questioned why guys could sleep around. The only answer I ever got was ‘thats just the way its supposed to be’. When I was entering into my teenage years I remember thinking girls were sluts because they had been with people, but I thought nothing of the boys who were just as guilty, if not more than the girls. No one thinks anything of the boys who mess around, or use women; they cheer them on. The media teaches girls to be objects for the use of men, our motivation behind everything should be to impress a man, and when we follow that instruction we are condemned, tainted, and called sluts.
Sex is a natural act in every species, and if a man can have multiple partners, so can a woman. There is nothing wrong with embracing your sexuality and exploring things. Thats what you’re supposed to do. My entire life I let my sex life define who I was, when I lost my virginty I felt like a flower with the petals torn off. But why should anyone be ashamed of such a natural action? I was made to feel worthless and trashy while men were made to feel like champions. Intimacy does not define you as a person, choosing to be intimate with someone, or not says nothing about your character. What I do with my body, is none of anyone’s concern.
Being a woman, it is also difficult not to let other use you, or make an object out of you. Media tells us our duty is to please men, as well as certain religions. The world thinks our purpose in life is to please others, when that is not the case at all. I am more than a pretty face, I am more than an object. I expect to be treated with respect, loved, and appreciated, not used. It should take more than a simple act of kindness to win me over, and if any man thinks a superficial compliment such as ‘you’re beautiful’ is supposed to have me head over heals, he’s a fool. So many girls fall for the simplest things, but it takes more than a mere “you’re pretty” to win someone’s heart, besides you don’t win it you earn it. It never ceases to amaze me when guys are surprised the shallow three word compliment didn’t make me fall for them. Women are people and for some reason, I still feel like the world doesn’t understand that. But it’s important, and took me forever to learn what I actually deserve. I have a purpose beyond seeking out a husband, or pleasing men, and I find it so sickening that the world does not yet understand that and so many girls don’t realize what they are worth or deserve.
Beyond being a woman, I have had to accept who I am as a person, being called weird from the day you enter school up until now takes a toll on you eventually. The human animal only wishes to be accepted and fit in, being told you are different, being singled out or rejected hurts. I used to strive so hard to be normal, but I could never grasp it. One day I finally asked myself, what is normal? Normal is common, but there is nothing that defines a normal human, because everyone is different, and even if there was why would I want to be just like everyone else? I would rather be alone and have my individuality then be a clone. Diversity promotes change and progress, the norm will only stay the same, new ideas are born of strange thoughts and curiosity, being ‘weird’ is beautiful, being weird is normal. The moment I understood that everything was different, and I was finally at peace with who I was. Even though my personality is still developing, and I am still searching for who I am, I’m at peace with where I’m at.
Teenagers are lost, stupid, and make copious amounts of mistakes, but how will we ever learn if we don’t make a mistake? A friend once told me wisdom comes from making mistakes, and learning from them. You can’t dwell on every bad, or idiotic thing you’ve ever done. Learn from it. And if people judge forget them, everyones morals, values, and interest differ and nothing is wrong with that. Different people will make the same mistakes, but they will also make different mistakes, all you can do is learn from it.
My thoughts are scrambled but I can at least hope some of what I am saying makes sense, we are held to a certain expectation. My parents expect me to be an all American good conservative catholic girl, and the media expects me to be an object, but I cannot let my parents wants determine who I am, I cannot live for others, I have to live for myself. I may not be what my parents want me to be, I may disappoint them, but they love me regardless and as long as I am content with who I am, that’s okay with me. No one one on this planet has the right to tell me I shouldn’t have piercings, or I shouldn’t dress the way I dress, or I should act according to expectations. My piercings also don’t determine my intelligence, my tongue piercing isn’t because I’m a slut, I’m not goth, I don’t sit at home and listen to metal all day long, I don’t hate the world, I don’t want to be a tattoo artist, and I’m not an idiot for having piercings because I can always take them out, but some people just are not open minded enough to understand that, and I have come to terms with that. I cannot let the opinions of others weigh me down, but only let my ambition to prove them wrong drive me forward. Self acceptance is the greatest struggle everyone has to face.